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Post by Evr on Feb 20, 2012 19:12:00 GMT -5
(all chapters are descirptive o3o Alsoithis is mature 030)Chapter one.
Fantasia had finally gotten home from counsling as she ran into her horrid bedroom of goth posters and bone jewerly as she screamed inside her pillow. "I FUCKING HATE LIFE!: she screamed eerily as she threw pictures of her child at the walls whilhe her motherran in and grabbed her "NOW WHAT THE HEKK ARE YOU DOING!" she screamed as she threw Fantasia against the bed with a growl.
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Post by Yonk on Feb 20, 2012 19:37:58 GMT -5
((not to be mean,but tht isn't a chapter. its 2 scentances.))
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Post by Evr on Feb 20, 2012 19:40:03 GMT -5
(Yeah forgotto add that they are shor because it'smainlya short story but i'll tryto write more in the next chapter xD)
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Post by Yonk on Feb 20, 2012 19:42:12 GMT -5
((than it isn't really a fanfic. fanfics go on for a LONG time.))
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Post by Evr on Feb 20, 2012 19:43:15 GMT -5
(It's a work in progress i ment because this started out at school XD SOsorryfor the misunderstanding!)
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Post by Everest on Feb 23, 2012 21:28:21 GMT -5
((Not bad so far, but try to write a little more with each post. Don't give avid readers tiny little teasers! That's evil! XD But, really good so far. Try to separate paragraphs a little better, each quote=new paragraph. But from then on, it's just grammatical issues, easily fixed later. Looking good so far!))
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Post by Evr on Feb 23, 2012 21:46:26 GMT -5
(thanksNow i shall workonit o3o) Fantasia started to cry as her mother started to yell at her. She kept screaming back at her mother with intense language thet filled the streets with the noise of broken glass and windows. Finally her mother left the room and Fantasia started to cry herself to sleep. She woke up that morning to see that her mother was gone. Vanished without a trace, Fantasia started to scream again as she started screaming up at the sky."I hate HIM!"she screamed as she started cutting herself. Fantasia watched the blood trickle down her arm as she started throwing her mom's picture out the window and to her surprise the cops were. Just her fucking luck!She ran away from the window and grabbeda knife."Dying is better than this!" Fantasia slowly brought the knife to her neck. Derp  |
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Post by Everest on Feb 25, 2012 14:33:09 GMT -5
((Snaps! Don't stop there! Keep going! What is this a fanfic again of?))
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Post by Evr on Feb 25, 2012 14:57:40 GMT -5
(In time and i had to sto-p it there XD)
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Post by Everest on Feb 25, 2012 15:11:12 GMT -5
((^^" Okay!))
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--Pokesona
Pokesona evo 
